I have the best seat at almost every wedding I attend. I stand about three feet from the bride and groom. I see the furtive look of the bride as she arrives at the head of the church wanting to see the expression on the groom’s face. I see the intensity with which the bride and groom look at each other when they are repeating their vows. I see the look of joy on their faces when I pronounce them husband and wife. I do have the best seat in the place.
Saturday I officiated at the most important wedding I have attended in almost 31 years – the wedding of my son, Joel, to his bride, Rachel. What a joy it was to officiate and watch my son up close as he made a covenant with his wife. Their love for each other was so evident. The seriousness of the moment was also evident in their eyes as they took the vows upon their lips that many generations before them have taken.
In my wedding message I spoken on oneness, the oneness that God desires couples to experience in the marriage relationship (Genesis 2:24). Unfortunately there are many couples that never achieve it. As I watched my son and new daughter-in-law start their journey together I wondered what the journey would be like for them. What rough spots will they face (for oneness to occur their must be shared struggles)? What joys would they share? What would God teach them through each other? How would they each change?
It is a mystery how this oneness occurs. It doesn’t happen automatically. There is no recipe that will work for every couple. We know that oneness requires grace, commitment, time, and being proactive. It doesn’t happen by accident. Joel and Rachel did not become one by merely saying, “I do.” Nor does a couple become one on their wedding night. But over time, as a couple seeks it and works towards it, oneness is created. Two become one in goals and direction, financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually.
I know a couple that is one. They have been married for 70 years. How beautiful it is to see a couple who has become one. That is when love is a beautiful thing. I hope that Joel and Rachel will experience such love and oneness for themselves.
What do you and your mate do to increase your oneness?